November 10th, 2012

Willow: It stole Giles’ car!
Xander: Why would a demon want to steal a car?
Anya: Why would a demon want to steal that car?

*

Spike: And I’m supposed to just help you out of the evilness of my heart?

*

Xander: That’s my radio!
Spike: And you’re what…shocked and disappointed? I’m evil.

*

Riley: You’re really strong. Like, Spider-man strong.
Buffy: Yeah. But I don’t stick to stuff.

*

Giles: You know what gets me? This is what gets me. Twenty years I’ve been fighting demons. Maggie Walsh and her Nancy Ninja boys come in, six months later the demons are pissing themselves with fear. They never even noticed me.
Ethan: Who’s Maggie Walsh?
Giles: Oh, she’s awful. She said I was an absent male role model. Absent, my ass. But, I’m twice the man she is.

*

Prof. Walsh: So… the Slayer.
Buffy: Yeah, that’s me.
Prof. Walsh: We thought you were a myth.
Buffy: Well, you’re mythtaken.

*

Buffy: We have to make this fast. I have better things to do tonight than kill.
Everyone: Surprise!
Willow: Guess you won’t be killing anything tonight after all.
Buffy: Don’t be so sure.

*

Riley: Buffy… when I saw you stop the world from, you know, ending, I just assumed that was a big week for you. It turns out I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of apocalypse.

*

Giles: Ethan Rayne. You have no idea how much thrashing you is going to improve my day.

*

Buffy: I’m spending today with Riley.
Willow: Oh, yeah. I forgot. That’s what you always do on the days when the Earth revolves.

*

Spike: Well, what do I spy with my little eye? A demon. That would be - oh, right - the things I can kill.
Giles: Spike. Wonderful. The perfect end to a perfect day.

*

Giles: Money? I could pay you money.
Spike: Oh, I like money. How much?
Giles: A hundred dollars?
Spike: A hundred dollars. You’ll have to do a LOT better than that. 200.
Giles: Fine.
Spike: Right, then.
Giles: Right, then.

*

Ethan: I’ve really got to learn to just do the damage and get out of town. It’s the stay-and-gloat that gets me every time.

*

Buffy: You okay?
Giles: Oh, um, embarrassed, mostly. Ethan’s wardrobe’s not helping any. How did you know it was me?
Buffy: Your eyes. You’re the only person in the world that can look THAT annoyed with me.